That Empty Kind of Love

Sorrow is like an ache in my chest.

A black hole of emptiness inside me, stretching through to my fingertips and toes.

Loss clouds my eyes, dulling my senses till there is nothing left.

The bass echoes through my limbs as I twirl in an room full of empty people.

Bodies jostling, shining with sweat, as I try and feel something.

This is why we are here.

To feel something else, something we can’t give ourselves.

It’s an empty love but love nonetheless.

Lights flash, garishly illuminating our swaying bodies, our blank eyes reflecting red, blue, and yellow.

Reaching up towards an empty ceiling, we crow with toxic excitement.

The drums beat with our hearts, taking away our inhibitions.

This is what we want.

This is why we are here.

We are lost but we are together.

Release

Slowly, I will turn my limbs to iron. With this fire I will carve myself out of my prison.

If it takes a day, or a decade. I will be released.

I will walk a path across the world that shimmers with hope and determination.

I will create my own strength. I will end my own suffering.

If I falter or if I fall, I will wrench myself up and shrug off my weaknesses.

My heart will be made of fire and ice. Capricious, yet stolid against my foes.

Even if that foe is the reflection I see in the mirror.

I will crack my own facade and reveal the true self I keep hidden.

It will be glorious.

It will be me.