Reality

It is not incredibly common to find a book the reminds you of your childhood dreams. Reminders of hidden passageways and daring adventures that make life glimmer with new possibilities.

I found one today, or rather yesterday. I have spent the last 48 hours drinking in this new gem, wholly engrossed in its pages. That is when you know you’ve found a diamond in the rough. When your surroundings take a backseat and your senses are overwhelmed with a new world, a new life.

A book can change a life. Not in any material way but maybe in a way that adds shadow and depth to an imagination, that changes a persons perceptions ever so slightly. It may not be for the better but it is still there.

My book added some depth to my day. A story of a boy, young and brilliant, assailed with tragedy, romance, and the heroism of youth. It made secret passageways and fantastical events seem almost possible again.

It also made me ache for a reality that I can’t reach in my waking hours. Walking home was like coming out of a deep sleep. It started with the strong belief in the impossible and then, as slow as a winters chill, reality crept into the edges of my vision.

Reality is a cruel thing, crueler than any word or person. A word may sting and a person may cause pain for awhile but reality can withstand the breadth of time. Pain will fade but reality is forever a thorn in my side.

Without reality I can have my passageways.

Without reality I can be a child.

Unfortunately, until I can escape reality I will be here and I will continue to dream my own reality.

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Uncertain Future

Recently I’ve found myself facing the future.

In doing this, I realised I actually didn’t have anything concrete in mind. Sure, I’m doing an amazing degree and I have a stable job albeit as boring as you can get but I feel like I’m missing something.

Usually I would read a fantasy book about people getting everything their own special way or watch a TV show that makes me feel like special things can just happen and every ones life is exciting. This led to the depressing thought of; “Well, I don’t have super powers and I am no longer within the age group where vampires or supernatural events change your life forever…”

What do you do when your childhood starts drift away and your left with a boring job and an uncertain future?

My reaction has been to furtively search for 1. A better job 2. Maybe a career? 3. Start to get frustrated 4. Write a blog post illustrating how futile my search has been.

In doing this I have, however, discovered that I want to work in my university and I am also going to find a new book or TV show so that maybe adulthood will stay in the hazy distance and leave me with my teenage vampire crushes and superhero fantasies.

Goodnight xx